Saturday, November 26, 2011


I can recall on a time when I was bullied. It was mostly in early years at primary school when I discovered people, I mean, kids can be cruel. It was recess and it was fall, the sun was cold, the sky was blue. The sand pit was damp, therefore, a lot of the kids had taken advantage to create castles, and what not, and just all the things you can do in sand. I approached a short crowd of kids playing and asked if I could join. I was a shy kid; I had to ask before barging in to avoid conflict. One of the boys said sure, and I was happy. I immediately thought he was going to be my friend then on. While I was using a stick to dig out the sand, two boys through sand in my face, it got in my mouth, in my shirt, and my nose. I was squinting and coughing with my eyes closed, I was going to cry, but I held it in because I didn’t want to create attention. I got up and tried walking away. The boys were laughing; I tried cleaning the sand out of my hair and my face. I spit a lot, I felt sad. For the entire year I sat alone at a bench eating my snack and admiring the sun. Back home, there were problems with my mom and dad with the whole divorce, it was difficult to have the attention of my mom. My sisters had their friends, my brother was young. I felt alone.

It really does carry on into high school. Things from the beginning alter who you are as a person in the present. I was quieter, but I found my own peace to listening to music, reading, and most of all writing. It didn’t talk back, but it all helped. I had a skater phase, and in my high school, kids made fun of me because of it. I was a race more known to be drowned with low hip-hop influence. They believed a specific race had to talk a certain way, talk a certain way, listen to specific music, and wear specific clothes. It came to a point I really felt threatened by these kids, they’d harm anyone. I believed in my religion, and if I had to admit it during religion studies at school, they’d frown saying I’m a disgrace. Once again, I had to change, I tried by polite, I got knocked down, I tried to be myself, and I got knocked down.

As of today, I don’t know who I am. I forgot the things that made me happy, who I was, where I stood. I’m the aftermath of a big bang, space junk, just flying around, waiting for a day I approach a planet with gravity so I can fall and break into a billion pieces, and disappear forever. Life is a struggle, I’m accepting a lot of things, and I never resort to drugs, alcohol thanks to my father. I saw him and how it broke him, and our family apart. I have a life to live, people to love, and a world beneath my feet I still have yet to see. I’m not giving up so fast, I’m too young.

I really admire Lady Gaga; she really brings the issues alive. Many people gains so much attention and seem to forget that in this world are people suffering. She has used her power for good; she’s a hero who isn’t afraid to speak up. I’d like to say thank you, and for as long as I live I’ll never forget your music and the words you spoke. 

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